Jennifer Aniston Not Nkd Any Time Soon

"Jennifer Aniston Not Nkd Any Time Soon" Pl4yb0y says....

Jennifer Aniston has shown a shred of dignity about Aniston' personal life!

Maybe Jennifer Aniston’s taken a knock to the head or something. But, nevertheless, She has apparently turned down a $10million offer from Hugh Hefner to appear nkd in Pl4yb0y.

Obviously that’s unless Angelina Jolie decides to pose nkd 4 Pl4yb0y any time soon, b'coz if she does then Jenn is quite willing to ram an endoscope up her clodge & project the resulting images onto the surface of the moon. For free. Obviously.

Pl4yb0y has lost its sparkle lately, hasn’t it? Thanks to the internet, we’re all able to look at the nkd breasts of literally any celebrity on Earth. Or, failing that, the head of any celebrity on Earth badly photoshopped onto a pair of nkd breasts. Or, failing that, a horrifyingly detailed pencil drawing of any celebrity on Earth’s nkd breasts as imagined by a clammy 50-year-old friendless virgin whose major aspiration in life is to become a dangerous stalker.

Pl4yb0y has gone 4 one last roll of the dice - it wants Aniston to get nkd, and it’s willing to pay Jennifer Aniston $10million 4 it. But, guess what, She isn’t having any of it. MTV reports:

"Jennifer Aniston was reportedly approached with the offer by magazine boss Hugh Hefner after her recent photo shoot for GQ in which she posed nde save for a well placed necktie. At the time the Pl4yb0y Boss remarked of the cover: "This looks like the cover of Pl4yb0y. I’m much impressed by Jennifer. Is it just me or is Jennifer Aniston getting hotter?"

It might seem strange that Aniston won’t get nkd for Pl4yb0y when Aniston was only just nkd in GQ a few months ago, but that’d be failing to understand a simple truth - Jennifer Aniston will only get nkd when

a) Jennifer Aniston’s got a film coming out,
b) Jennifer Aniston thinks that it’ll make Angelina Jolie remember all the s_x she used to have w/ Brad Pitt & flinch like a baby eating a lemon or
c) Jennifer Aniston hasn’t been in a celebrity magazine for upwards of 36 hours.

So it looks like we’ll just have to get used to the idea of a world without a nkd Aniston center fold in Pl4yb0y. Shame. We’ll have to think of something else to plaster all over our front door to keep burglars away when we’re on holiday now.